The AMP “Crazy Artist”™ Test
INSTRUCTIONS: Please answer quickly, without great deliberation. Circle those that apply to you. If you answer yes to any two, you might just be a “crazy artist”. Call us immediately and let us help you get from CRAZY to AMAZING!
1. I have a friend who is (an engineer) (a producer) (a musician) (really nice and generous). He’ll do my project for ($xx.xx less than you guys) (free).
2. Do you have any scented candles?
3. I can nail it in one take, so we should be able to save some money on the vocals.
4. I usually like to stay at the studio all night to get “in the groove”.
5. I don’t need the record mixed; I have a friend who is an engineer. [see #1]
6. I have incredible sensitivity to my vocal performance and don’t want you to “mess with it” in any way. Variants:
-My vocals are so nuanced that they deserve to be left alone
-I hate the way AutoTune sounds
-I’ll nail it in one take [see #2]
7. My style is really kinda (eclectic / unique / diverse / ground-breaking). Do you know what I mean? (Cuz I don’t…) [see #8]
8. Help me figure out what I’m doing. (AKA, I don’t want to pay for any expert help from people who actually do this for a living.) [see #1]
9. My husband / wife gets the final say. S/He’s my producer.
10. Please don’t look at me while I’m recording; I hate to “perform”
11. I like to wear my sequin dress while recording so I can really feel like I am performing
12. I change my mind a lot, and I’m likely to change my mind after we’ve agreed on something.
13. This shouldn’t take long…
14. I’ve worked with (2 / 3 / 4…) producers and no-one “gets” what I do.
15. I would rather purchase recording equipment from my local Guitar Center, and do it myself.
16. I need enough room for my choreography while I’m singing; otherwise, I forget my words.
17. I can’t sing into a (silver / black / gold) microphone. Do you have another?
18. We don’t need to write anything down, do we? We’re all friends.
19. I prefer to make up the lyrics on the spot while we are recording. I seem to rhyme better that way
20. Does the studio drummer drool? I can’t work with a drummer that drools
We have been working with amateurs and professionals alike for a combined thirty years in the business. We’ve seen it all, and not much surprises us anymore. Drop us a line, or call us for any kind of discussion about your place in MUSIC HISTORY!
…But Seriously Now
INSTRUCTIONS: If you answer yes to any two of these, then you should give us a call to talk about it
1. I have spent money (a little or a lot) to record a musical project.
2. I have been slightly-to-extremely disappointed with some aspect of the final product. (The vocal sounds unexciting, the guitar tones aren’t current, the mix isn’t loud enough etc)
3. My songs have an unintentional “sameness” to them.
4. I worry that my musicians aren’t as good as the ones I hear on other records. (And my guitar player sells appliances during the day, my bass player is a dentist, my drummer only has one snare, so we need to record at night on Thursdays)
5. I’ve started a project but don’t know how to finish it. Variants:
-I’ve got a bunch of songs and we’ve tracked some instruments but no vocals.
-I’ve got a complete project but I hate the final mix.
-I’ve got a complete project but need to get it mixed.
6. Do I have a finished project? Can you listen and offer any advice?
7. I would like to release a project that suits my personality, artistic vision, sounds great, is commercially viable, and would like to talk about how you would help me with it.
We look forward to hearing from you about your next recording project.